Two Bored Englishman, a Phone, and a Deus Ex Machina
CAST
GUY 1: Englishman
GUY 2: Englishman
(sitting on couches in living room)
GUY 1
This is boring
guy 2
Yep, this is boring
guy 1
This is almost as boring as that Young Ones sketch
GuY 2
Yep, this is really boring
GUY 1
I think it’s time to pontificate upon the price of oil
GUY 2
Yes, let us preach to each other
guy 1
Oil is too high. It’s all Venezuala’s fault
GUY 2
Or more specifically, Chavez the leader of Venezuala.
GUY 1
Yes, that guy
GUY 2
Yes
GUY 1
He is a ruthless dictator oppressing his people
GUY 2
Yes, he is
GUY 1
Don’t you have a voice of your own?
GUY 2
Aren’t we running out of time?
GUY 1
Yes, I think we are
guy 2
Yes, quite
guy 1
Well now what?
guy 2
Well let’s read the mail
(phone rings)
guy 1
Hold on then, I’ve got a call
(picks up phone)
Hello? Yes? Yes?
(hands phone to GUY 2)
Here, it’s for you
GUY 2
Hello? Hello? Uh huh. Uh huh.
(listens to phone for a few minutes)
All right then. Sorry, wrong number.
guy 1
Who was it, then?
Guy 2
Don’t know, didn’t ask, wrong number you know.
GUY 1
I thought it was probably a wrong number
guy 2
Yes, you thought correctly.
guy 1
Well now, what’s that?
(large chariot comes out of sky)
guy 2
It looks like some sort of mechanized chariot
guy 1
Just in time to save this sketch, in my opinion
guy 2
Yes, quite.
guy 1
Where do you suppose it goes?
guy 2
Don’t know. Shall we?
guy 1
After you
guy 2
No, after you
guy 1
Age before Beauty
guy 2
Brains before Braun
guy 1
Well thank you, I have been working out
guy 2
So I noticed
guy 1
Well, on to this chariot, then
(they get on)
guy 2
How do we get started?
guy 1
I think we press this button here
guy 2
Well, only one way to find out, isn’t there?
guy 1
Yes, I’m pressing the button ... now
(GUY 1 presses button. Chariot flys away.)
(exeunt)
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