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Monday, November 29, 2004

Motorola's new phones show image of child who made phone

Motorola announced their new marketing campaign that also will double as aid for children in need.

"All our new phone screens will show the picture of the Chinese child that made the phone," says Chris Galvin, CEO of Motorola. "The packaging will say if you buy this phone, you feed this child for a month. It really will help to feed thousands of poor children who work in sweatshops throughout China. These children are really in need, and besides giving them jobs, we thought it would be nice to do a little extra for them."

Carol Bellamy, executive director of UNICEF, had this to say: "We have been working with Motorola for a year now to hammer out this new program. Motorola has always taken an interest in the children of underdeveloped nations, giving them needed jobs so their families can eat, even giving them extra hours per day so they can earn more money, sometimes even 14 hours a day. Now, each phone that customers buy will bring extra rice rations to their family."

Chris Galvin, in an effort to placate investors, added "Plus, it doubles as an incentive program, if the child does a bad job and the phone is defective and gets returned, then sorry, you don't eat this month."

Nokia and Ericsson have no current plans for their phones, but are looking into it. "Our phones are made by Eastern European women kidnapped for the Russian Mob's sex slave trade," said Leif Henrickson, a representative of Ericsson, "No one will look at some 23 year old coked out hooker and feel sorry for her and want to give her money. Now children - they are the future. We are looking into using child labor in Africa. After all, you don't need legs to build a cell phone."