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Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Biden's Wife Tortures Iranians

Last week an economic summit was held between American and Iranian diplomats, and several high-level Iranian diplomats. This meeting almost ended in open war between Iran and the US.

After a few hours of negotiation, not much progress had been made. That was when Sen. Joe Biden entered with his wife. In a brazen show of disrespect for the law that only an American can perform, Biden's wife, right there for all to see, tortured the Iranian diplomats by wearing tight leather pants and a revealing blouse.

To top it off, after Jill Biden entered, congressional aides opened the windows to let sub-zero air in, which only heighted the effect of her form fitting clothing.

"Aaiiieeeee! My eyes!" said one diplomat, as they covered their eyes and tried to run from the room. One diplomat was so shocked and horrified he has fallen into a catatonic state that he still has not woken up from. Another just felt he could not go on with his normal life and family when he returned home, and told his wife "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you" and kicked her out into the street with his daughters, only keeping his sons.

The rest of the diplomats are in therapy to deal with their devastated emotions.

"This was an affront to the Iranians as Muslims as well as human beings," said John Wimpatico of the Red Cross. "Everyone knows that it is against Muslim law for men to see woman's skin unless it is their own wife. This was blatant torture by America. I can only imagine the shame and humiliation they must have felt when they saw Mrs. Biden's bare arm. They would have been completely justified if they just cut it off right there, but they were so horrified they could not act in time. Maybe if they did it would have sent our cowboy senate a lesson: that you cannot trample the rights of others, that there will be a comeuppance."

An investigation has been ordered into the affair. The ACLU has been rumored to be looking into suing Biden personally for violation of church and state by not letting the Iranians practice their brand of Islam by forcing them to look at women's arms. Democratic Senators have been avoiding Biden, whispering "traitor" and "hatemonger" as he walks by.

A lawsuit has been filed against the US government on behalf of the diplomats. Ramsey Clark, representing the tortured Iranian diplomats, said "These people have suffered tremendously at the hands of the US. What have these people done? Funnel money and weapons to Hamas and Islamic Jihad and Hezbollah? And for that they deserve to be tortured and treated inhumanely? Nothing could justify this. Nothing. This is pure evil, and a sign what a corrupt violent plutocracy our country is."

Kim Gandy, president of the National Organization of Women, says "Who are we to judge another person's culture? Women enjoy freedom here in America, but we cannot force Iranian women to be free, or flaunt our freedom in front of Iranians. We had women in that room who were not covered head to toe. This is in clear violation of our liberal deconstructionist philosophy that no one way of governance is right, including liberty."

Go Ramsey Clark. You are fighting for all of us.