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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Swift Boat Vet Conspiracy Finally Proven

Over the past year there has been much speculation as to the truth behind the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth (SBV). The idea that they merely are veterans who got together once they saw Sen. Kerry was running for president obviously is too ludicrous be true.

Many people first though Karl Rove was part of the conspiracy. After all, two people working for the Bush campaign were connected in some way to the 527 group, and had to quit according to campaign law. Karl Rove was connected to them, so the conspiracy was obvious.

However, our research has turned up a conspiracy even more shocking with even more evidence behind it. We have found someone who had ties to a number of the Swift Boat Vets. Such strong connections cannot be denied, and are more than ample proof of some sort of conspiracy. This person had much to gain. His name is:

John Kerry.

John Kerry, unlike Karl Rove or anyone else in the Bush campaign, had ties to every single one of the Swift Boat Vets. He had the perfect opportunity to meet with them over a period of 30 years to perfect his plan and come up with the lies and falsehoods that the Swift Boat Vets would spread about the Senator.

This ingenious plan was to discredit the Bush campaign by having the SBV say outrageous lies about the Senator. Then when the lies were discredited and the vets who were tied to the campaign were exposed, the Bush campaign would fall apart. His plan failed when the gullible Republican voters were bamboozled by the lies that they told. Too late to retract the lies without exposing his part of the conspiracy, Kerry fell to a plan B: insinuate that the SBV were tied to Karl Rove. However, the damage had already been done.

Kerry overestimated the intelligence of the average Republican voter. Between the lies he and the SBV planted, and the threat of terrorism and gay marriage, he no longer had a chance.

We cannot deny the strength of these connections between Kerry and the Swift Boat Vets. For someone to know so many of them must be proof that there was some nefarious connection. The political campaign circles are small but cannot possibly be that small. Are we to believe that it is merely a convenient coincidence that he knew them? Do we look like fools? There can be no other reason for Kerry to actually know any of the Swift Boat Vets other than that there must have been a conspiracy between them and him.

In tomorrow's article we will explore the role of the hidden agent who came up with the whole conspiracy idea, the one with ties to so many secret campaign operatives he may be the most powerful man in politics today. His name:

Kevin Bacon.