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Friday, January 28, 2005


Victoria Fontan, professor of Peace Studies at Colgate University, will follow up her study living with partisans in Iraq with a study on the Ku Klux Klan, she announced at a press conference featuring prominent Senators.

"We need to understand these freedom fighters, not call them terrorists," she said. "If we listened more to them and their complaints, then we would learn something. It is our policies that make them angry, they are not evil, not bad guys, they just disagree. If we would only listen, they wouldn't have to resort to violence.

"Over the years, even before civil rights legislation was passed, white people turned to violence against blacks as their only way of speaking out. Too often, whenever someone says we should listen to them, they are shouted down and called racist sympathizers. But no more. If we are going to heal this country, we have to sit down and listen to people like the KKK, to learn what they want. After all, they are only turning to lynching because people won't listen to their concerns."

"It is time to admit we lost against these insurgents," Senator Ted Kennedy said, "it is time for our police to go home, to stop prosecuting these 30 years old crimes, which are not crimes but cries for help by the oppressed. White people in this country need our understanding, not our judging them. Violence is the only way they can speak out. It is time to leave America in their hands. We aren't ready for elections yet, obviously. I only wish I had made this speech two days before Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday."

"Our government has been more concerned with not offending the NAACP than with reporting the truth," said Senator Barbara Boxer, "but it is time for the truth. White people have it hard in this country. They aren't all rich like the media want us to believe. Most people on welfare are poor white rural people. They are the new Minutemen, the militia, the freedom fighters."

"It is time for our domestic policy to change," said Senator John Kerry, "I am going to go on a fact finding mission to meet with heads of the Klan, the Church of the Creator, and other white supremacist groups, to see what kind of media campaign they want to implement. Hopefully I can help to bring about peace between them and the rest of America, with their Jews controlling everything and the Blacks living high on the hog off the state."

"I abhor violence," professor Fontan concluded, "We cannot use violence or police forces to enforce our will, that is wrong. I study peace, not fascist oppression. That is why I am embedding myself in the KKK, to accompany them on bombing runs, to see firsthand why they want to kill others, and hopefully to understand. I can't do anything to stop them or warn people though, that would interfere with the study.

"If we had been better listeners, Tim McVeigh would never have bombed all those children. I'm not saying it's all our fault. I'm just saying remember it takes two to start a fight. If we would only stop resisting the Klan and implement a more compassionate domestic policy, there would be no more violence."