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Tuesday, February 15, 2005

We Are Changing Our Site

Following are the top search engine queries used to find our site.
  1. Huge Turd
  2. Tight Leather Pants
  4. Ball Torture
  5. Fetus Soup
  6. Jill Biden
  7. Kristina Kiik
  8. Juma Juice
  9. Pluto
Obviously there is a pattern, and unfortunately we have been greatly misinformed as to the nature of our readership. We have since fired our marketing director, and are in talks with Jenna Jameson to become our new director.

We are also changing our site to better deliver to our customers what they want: scat, S&M, and young boys: in erotic positions - wearing Star Wars costumes.

We will also be starting a new vocabulary section for those who do not know scat terminology. For instance, we had always thought wrapping someone's head in plastic wrap then pooping on it was called "Murder," but we have recently learned it is called the "Hot Karl." We think this is similar to the famed "Columbian Necktie," or the new "Columbian Tire Necklace," which is not a flaming after dinner drink as we thought. Our reporters are checking it out even now and will report on which groups use the "Hot Karl." One thing we assume - it is not the Columbians.