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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

One Liner Headlines

Oweing to the fact that we are making changes here at Eyes On The Ball, we bring you the following headlines for which we have not had time to write articles. Please pardon our dust.

Howard Dean Says Rich "Will Only Spend Tax Cuts On Yachts"
Boat Builders Union 384 switches to Republican party

Prince Harry Wears Nazi Costume, Raises Ire of Europeans
Europeans Say We Need To Keep Our Rampant Anti-Semitism Secret

Prominent Democrat Says Diversity Most Important Virtue, Cannot Force Freedom On People
Despite Eloquent Argument, Stephen Douglas Still Loses To Abraham Lincoln

Teresa Heinz-Kerry Changes Name Back to Teresa Heinz
Says she wanted to marry a "winner," not a "whiner"

Howard Dean Makes 8 Year Old Cry
Dean said "I Hate Young Republicans Too"

Kinsey Institute Denies It Endorses Pedophilia
Only Endorses Sex With Children if Adult is Not Parent Or Teacher, Since "That Would Be Crazy"

Dog Therapy Rising In US Rehab Hospitals
Single Owners Spooned Too Tightly On Valentine's Day Night

Eyes On The Ball Makes Up These Headlines
Still Trusted More Than CBS, the "Other Eye And Ball" Network

Basil Mad Pluto's Dad Stealing Bit
Pluto's Dad Pulls "Fred Durst Defense" After Being Challenged to Charity Boxing Match