A Message From Our Sponsor: Flamco Paint
FLAMCO SPOKESMAN:
CUSTOMER:
(On stage in separate locations, as one talks the other freezes)
FLAMCO SPOKESMAN
We received the following letter from one of our customers:
CUSTOMER
Dear Flamco. I have a restaurant that is losing money. I have tried every cost saving measure I can think of but nothing works. What can I do? Can you help me? Signed, Jordan Easter.
FLAMCO SPOKESMAN
Hi Jordan, have we got a solution for you. Just repaint your restaurant with New Flamco Ultra Flammable interior paint. Flamco Ultra is four times as flammable as leading brands. And twice as flammable as our previous Five Alarm brand paint. That's ten alarms for the price of one!
CUSTOMER
You mean burn it down for the insurance money? Isn't that dangerous? On TV they always catch you.
FLAMCO SPOKESMAN
Great question Jordan, but don't worry. Unlike traditional accelerants such as gasoline, Flamco Ultra Flammable Paint is just 100% pure paint. So it's not traceable by arson investigators. No one will ever know.
(later)
CUSTOMER
(holding check)
Thanks Flamco! I just got a big check from my insurance company, and now I can start over. I couldn't have done this without you. And even better, I just found out that next week my ailing mother is writing me out of her will, but I'm repainting her house tomorrow! Thanks Flamco!
FLAMCO SPOKESMAN
Flamco paint. Until the US makes murder legal like the Netherlands, think Flamco. For all your flammable paint needs.
(blackout)
posted by Pluto's Dad @ 2/28/2005 12:06:00 AM
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