US Serviceman Tortured!
We have obtained this transcript of a torture session involving a US Army serviceman. We warn readers that it is disturbing, but in the interests of truth we are presenting it in full detail.ACLU 1: ACLU lawyer
ACLU 2: ACLU lawyer
RED CROSS: official Red Cross rep
SGT. JOHNSON: army interrogator
FEDERAL MARSHAL: Brock Landon, hard ass
ACLU 1
Now we will discuss how you tortured those prisoners at Guantanamo Bay
SGT. JOHNSON
Nobody tortured –
Aclu 2
Shut up! Don’t answer until we ask a question!
aclu 1
On the day in question, did you or did you not offer the prisoner a chance to look at the ocean if he answered your questions?
SGT. JOHNSON
It was the prisoner’s idea, he wanted –
aclu 2
Just say yes or no!
aclu 1
I’ll take that as a yes. So you admit you offered preferential treatment to one prisoner?
SGT. JOHNSON
Well, I also offered a candy bar to another
aclu 2
Did you hear that? He admits it! You tried to treat the prisoners differently, instead of all the same!
SGT. JOHNSON
Um, so?
aclu 1
But that is against our rules. You have to treat them all equal. You can’t give treats.
SGT. JOHNSON
Well I know, the Major wouldn’t let us –
aclu 2
You know what? I think this is the guy that wanted to give them MREs instead of nice spiced lamb.
SGT. JOHNSON
Only for one guy that wouldn’t cooperate. We thought if he had to ate what we ate, he might be more willing to cooperate.
aclu 2
Let me at him, why I oughta –
aclu 1
Relax, we’re not here to torture anybody. That’s Sgt Johnson’s job, isn’t it?
Sgt. Johnson
Wha-
aclu 1
On to my next question. On the 3rd day in question, did you or did you not yell at a prisoner?
Sgt. johnson
I might have, I probably yelled a lot
aclu 2
Oh this guy is so pissing me off! Will you listen to yourself? You piece of -
aclu 1
Don’t worry, he’ll get his. Now Sgt. Johnson, did you ever strike a prisoner?
sgt. Johnson
No, that was against the rules.
aclu 1
Are you sure?
sgt. johnson
Yes, we had to get Rumsfeld’s personal permission to even offer them candy.
aclu 1
Well a Mr. Mohammed says you put your hands on him.
sgt. Johnson
That guy? No, what I did was grab him by the collar to make him think I was about to hit him. See they know our rules, they know we’re not allowed to touch them at all. So if I grab his collar, suddenly he’s not sure, he thinks I’ve gone psycho since I’ve just broken my own rules. The threat of torture works much better than torture itself.
aclu 1
So you admit striking a prisoner?
sgt. johnson
No, I just explained I never hit him, I just scared him into thinking I was about to.
aclu 2
Did you hear that? He admits he scared a prisoner! You are out of control mister!
sgt. johnson
For scaring him? –
aclu 2
Don’t you know scaring a prisoner is a cruel and inhuman form of torture? Next you’ll be telling us you played good cop bad cop!
sgt. johnson
Well on one guy we did. We had to get Rumsfeld’s personal permission to play good cop bad cop, since you lawyers won’t let us use regular police interrogation methods. I had a psychologist and two lawyers watching from behind the two way mirror to make sure the prisoner was not abused –
aclu 1
Wait, first you admit you actually played good cop bad cop? And now you admit Rumsfeld was personally involved?
sgt. Johnson
We had to get Rumsfeld’s personal permission on almost everything, we weren’t allowed to do whatever we wanted –
aclu 2
That’s enough, I’m gonna kill him!
(enter Red Cross)
Red cross
That’s ok, I’ll take it from here.
(exit ACLU 1 and ACLU 2)
I’m from the Red Cross. Sorry about those two. Here, have some water.
sgt. johnson
Are you here to help me? I think I need a lawyer, though I’m not sure why.
REd cross
Help you? … yes sure, I’m here to help you. I am a lawyer, yeah. But before I can help you, I just need you to tell me everything that happened. Did you ever pretend to be someone you’re not?
sgt. johnson
Well yes, on one occasion we had a guy come in and pretend to be from the Mossad.
red cross
I see. Ok, and did you ever threaten somebody with worse punishment if they did not cooperate? Like when a police detective says he'll talk to the DA to get a lighter sentence if the suspect talks?
sgt. johnson
We did some thing like that. We promised good or bad things, depending on if they cooperated or not. The thing is, even though we threatened them, we couldn’t follow through or force them to do anything.
red cross
Like what?
sgt. johnson
Like I couldn’t hurt them no matter what I said I might do. For instance when I made this one guy stand most of a day, if he refused and sat down, I’d have to let him, I couldn’t force him to stand. The rules don’t allow me to do that.
red cross
And did you inform him of that?
sgt. johnson
Well, no, that would let them know they had all the power. In any interrogation in the US the prisoner always has all the power, they just don’t know it. For common criminals, all they have to do is say "lawyer" and the interrogation's over.
red cross
So you made them dependent on you?
sgt. johnson
Yes that’s the basis of all interrogation, even police interrogations
(enter ACLU 1 and ACLU 2)
ACLU 2
I’ve heard enough! You are going to be put away for a long time!
red cross
Will you stop threatening him? Now Sgt. Johnson, everything will go a lot better for you if you just admit torture. I’ll even speak to the prosecutor on your behalf.
sgt. johnson
What? I thought you were my lawyer?
red cross
Did I imply that? Sorry I must have lied. Now please, admit what you did and the healing can begin.
aclu 2
Yeah, admit it or I’m gonna rip your head off!
(enter Federal Marshal)
federal marshal
Brock Langdon, Federal Marshal. You’re under arrest.
ACLU 1
He’s right there officer.
federal marshal
Not him you ninny, you three. For torture.
red cross
What? We didn’t torture anybody!
federal marshal
Let’s see, I have you on misrepresenting yourself, playing good cop bad cop, scaring him, promising better treatment if he cooperated … Oh, and you also tried to manipulate his emotions to make him dependent on you.
aclu 1
None of those are torture.
federal marshal
They are by your definition.
red cross
But you’re a cop! Cops do this all the time! It’s not torture!
federal marshal
Tell it to the judge
aclu 2
This is madness! He’s in the military! That makes him a war criminal! We have to go after him! I’m gonna get you for this!
federal marshall
Oh threatening a federal agent now, huh? Great that will add more time. All right let’s go!
(exit all but Sgt. Johnson, who takes sip of water, looks around, leaves)
posted by Pluto's Dad @ 1/08/2005 10:00:00 AM
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