CBS's Plan To Regain Credibility
Things CBS is considering to regain credibility (or at least divert attention away from the question of credibility):- Add "Pinnochio Meter" to bottom of screen which always indicates the speaker is telling the truth, except when Republicans are being interviewed
- When dealing with witnesses, remember: less foaming at mouth good
- Hire P. Diddy as anchor for "believe us or die" campaign, since he has "street cred"
- Have scrolling bar at bottom keep repeating: "Why do you care about us when Bush is lying to you?"
- Between stories, say Hey, have you seen Number 6 on the new Battlestar Galactica?
- Make sure witnesses in future reports were not committed to a psychiatric hospital
- When all the experts you hire say the documents are fake, try listening to them
- Change signoff to: But remember, nothing can be proven conclusively
- Actually interview people who know something about the subject
- Replace 60 Minutes Wednesday with Ann Coulter Dance Hour
posted by Pluto's Dad @ 1/15/2005 12:34:00 AM
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