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Thursday, December 09, 2004

Rather Still Wants to be First

"I still want to be the first to break the story if the documents turn out to be fake," said Dan Rather when asked about the upcoming December 10th release of the Boccardi and Thornburgh report. "No one has yet proven the documents are fake, and if anyone does, I want to be the first. Even if I have to tackle Boccardi on his way to the studio and rip the report out of his cold, dead hands.

"No one has ever disputed the focus of the story, only attacked the evidence. Why would anyone attack evidence? What kind of argument is that? What, were the pajamahedeen all on the debate team or something? The focus of the story is, of course, that George W. Bush was a rich kid. Are they denying it? No, because they know they can't.

"I am still not going to rest until I get to the bottom of this, I will be the first to let the world know if the documents are fake, just like I was the first to let the world know that Bush was a rich kid. Richie Richie Rich kid!"