Please Visit the new location for this site!: We will soon be automatically redirecting you.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Nice guy finishes last

"I can't believe I really finished last," wondered 28 year old Rob Bellamy, local nice guy. Rob participated in a speed dating event, and was informed by the dating service that not only did he receive no matches, but not a single woman out of the 30 he met that night wanted to see him again.

"I was nice, I laughed, I made sure to ask questions," he said, "I was honestly interested in everything they had to say. I even let them know what a great chef I am. I cook, I clean, I am funny, I am good looking, what more could a woman want?"

We asked some of the other participants that night what, indeed, did they want that Rob did not have.

"Some balls would have been nice," said Staci Rockefeller.

"If he acted like he wanted me sexually and not as a friend, I might have been more interested," Juli Steibold told us.

"He's obviously passive aggressive," Kristine Kashmir told us, "we talked about politics and relationships, and he couldn't take a position on anything. He kept trying to find out what I thought so he could agree with me."

Rob explained to us what he called "misunderstandings." "I try to be everything a woman needs at that moment, and forget about my own needs. When I decide I love someone, I grab real hard and don't let go. Women want the security that their man will cling to them and be there constantly every time they turn around. I also try to be nice and not directly state my feelings, I only do so indirectly. Girls like that, they don't like confrontation. Finally, I make sure my woman knows I need her. Women want to know their man really needs them so they feel special.

"But these girls, they just like jerks I guess. Like the last girl I dated. We had a misunderstanding, so I kept calling her, I knew if she just let me explain it would be allright, but she wouldn't take my calls, so I had to show up at her work. That's when she got the restraining order. Can you believe that? Like I am a stalker or something.

"I just have the bad habit of meeting immature women who don't know what they want. Someday I'll find an honest girl who is not selfish and doesn't like jerks and doesn't play mind games. "