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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Lord of the Rings and Wizard of OZ fans clash at site of Hobbit excavation

Thousands of fans of Lord of the Rings as well as the Wizard of Oz have converged on the small Indonesian island of Flores to view the race of small humanoids found there recently.

"I've been here for 3 days," says "Gandalf," a native of Carson City, Nevada. "I've been waiting my whole life for this."

"I always knew Tolkien's stories were based on fact," says "Angamar," "I mean, just look at the coast of Middle Earth, it obviously is Europe, just a long time ago. You can see the land bridge between England and Europe, before the seas receded at the end of the last ice age."

One surprising fact was not only were miniature humans found, but miniature elephants as well.

"That's the only thing Tolkien got wrong," explains "Galadriel," a medieval history professor at Cambridge, "he thought the 'oliphaunts' were huge beasts rode by humans from Africa, like Hannibal. But it seems like the Hobbits had their own small elephants that they rode into war."

All the remains have been moved to laboratories in the area, but the fans have not left. "Why don't they let us see them?" cried "Rosie Cotton," a sophomore at Manahattan Theater Lab High School, "come on! If I can bring back proof Hobbits were real, my boyfriend might take me back, he thought I was crazy, can you believe that? The jerk."

"I believe in you, Rosie." a heavyset young man identified only as "Sam Gamgee" said. Rosie rolled her eyes. "I can't wait for college, people in college are a lot cooler."

Other fans of the Wizard of Oz also were present, but had to be separated from Lord of the Rings fans since violence broke out between the two groups.

"Oh yeah, hobbits were real," said a man dressed as the Tin Man, "it is obvious this island is the lost land of OZ. I mean, Lord of the Rings took place in Europe, not Indonesia. Duh."