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Wednesday, November 24, 2004

2008 Campaign slogans identified

Sources indicate the following new campaign slogans are going to be used as early as next week in preparation for the 2008 presidential election:

The Republican Party
Because your bootstraps are all the food, shelter, and clothing you need
Donate blood, get oil
Eventually it will trickle down, honest
SUVs for everyone!

The Democratic Party
Voted #1 by the dead every year since 1960
We'll keep your kids in public school (while ours go to private school)
Because we kept the darkies from voting in the South
We'll drag everyone else down to your level
Electric cars for everyone!

The Libertarian Party
If outsourcing labor is good, outsourcing government is even better!
Bureaurocracy? We don't need no stinkin' Bureaurocracy.
Fear will keep the local systems in line ... oh uh, nevermind.
We can't afford cars

The Green Party
Because poor in 3rd world countries don't WANT to work
Humans are a disease, we are the cure
We'll give your cat the right to vote
Bicycles for everyone!

The Reform Party
We're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy
Even Jesse Ventura was too good for us
Segways for everyone!