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Monday, December 27, 2004

Harllel Jones May Replace Mfume at NAACP

Following the ouster of NAACP President Kweisi Mfume by Chairman Julian Bond, rumors are spreading that Harllel Jones, former leader of Afro Set, is on the short list of possible new Presidents.

"Harllel Jones, once known as Harllel X, embodies the strength and dedication that we need in these times of great trial," Bond said at a recent NAACP meeting. "As leader of Afro Set, he helped to eliminate enemies of the Revolution.

"For instance, in Cleveland and Cincinnati in the late 60s and early 70s, some African Americans that did not believe in the Revolution started their own small mom and pop businesses. Can you believe that? Owning stores! As if they were white people!

"Harllel X put them in their place. If they did not pay the tax for the Revolution, he parked prostitutes and drug dealers in front of their shops, so everyone could see 'look at these poor people, this shop owner refuses to help them.' Other 'tuned in' black people would then avoid the businesses until they paid up.

"Afro Set is also responsible for beheading dozens of black people who were against us, whether they owned stores, or were pigs, didn't want to kill for the Revolution, or were simply too light skinned. That is how far Harllel Jones is willing to go, he is willing to do what must be done to collaborators during war.

"That is why we gave him an award in the 90s, and why I believe he should be the next president of the NAACP. Ohio was supposed to give Kerry the victory, but more African Americans voted for Bush in 2004 than in 2000. We must reverse that trend, and Harllel is the one to do it. He once purged Ohio of dozens of self-hating blacks, he can do it again."