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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

French Aid Pours Into Asia

"Let no one say the French are stingy," French Foreign Minister Michel Barnier said in an interview in his plane headed to Asia. "We know how to help others.

"The French people do not have to give personally, not like in America with their low taxes for 'economic stimulation.' We French we know the true meaning of the word 'stimulation.' The American people are actually donating money themselves! But here, the French government can do all the giving. We have high taxes so that our government has plenty of money to help others, such as the 15% of our people that are unemployed.

"But despite our own needs at home, we have generously offered 100,000 euros (US$135,000) for the reconstruction in Asia. Of course, the French NGO Secours Populaire Francais is also giving 100,000 euros, so that is 200,000 euros from France! That's 270,000 dollars US!

"Who can top that? The selfish Americans?"

"We are extremely thankful for all the aid France is giving us," said Lal Liyanaarachchi, an official of the Sri Lankan Social Welfare Ministry. "They have been very helpful. I only wish the imperialist Zionist US would be so helpful. Their president wouldn't even go on TV! He just sent food and medical supplies.

"Israel even tried to send spies! They wanted to send 'rescue teams,' but we didn't let them land, since we didn't want any dirty Jews to contaminate our soil. Even in the midst of such devastation, we cannot lower our standards. Our people can wait a few more days before being rescued."

Update - 12:05 am Dec 30, 2004:
Several hours ago France increased their aid package to $20 million US. French Foreign Minister Barnier denies that pressure from Eyes On The Ball News prompted them to increase their gift.